Netflix's Harry Jowsey on Becoming Sober: 'Alcohol Won't Define Me' (2024)

While he may be known for his shirtless television antics, brutally honest sex chat online and irrefutable Aussie charm, reality heartthrob Harry Jowsey is serious about building momentum in the entertainment industry.

Since soaring to social media stardom after his stint on Netflix's Too Hot To Handle in the throes of the pandemic, the influencer has accumulated 4.4million followers on Instagram and 4.8million on TikTok.

But, like many reality TV stars, since his rise to online celebrity Jowsey has struggled with certain aspects of life in the spotlight, dealing with harsh public scrutiny after the breakdown of his relationship and at times extreme objectification from fans.

Partying four or five times a week in the early days of reality fame, Jowsey said he began drinking on the weekends solely to get drunk and that alcohol had become a type of reward system.

Now, with a popular podcast and hoard of loyal online fans behind him, Jowsey is putting the brakes on partying to focus on achieving his goal of cementing himself as an actor.

"My goal isn't to go out and party and get f****d up all the time, I just need to realign my goals and focus on the man that I want to be in five years", he told Newsweek. "I'm moving my career in a different direction, maybe I should be a little bit more serious about it and be a little bit more focused.

"Seeing everyone in the industry and around me who have no issue with going out and getting f****d up four nights a week. It's fine [for them], it just doesn't sit well with me.

"I took a step back thought, I could go down that path and I could go so badly into it, or I could just say 'This isn't going to define me'. I want to be focused and get my health and my career to everything it can be."

Jowsey, who is currently living in a swanky LA apartment with fellow reality star Georgia Hassarati, spent his early 20s living in Auckland, New Zealand, dropshipping sunglasses.

Describing himself as a "hopeless romantic who was a little bit lost in life", Jowsey had become disillusioned with the small dating pool in his hometown and decided to take the plunge and apply for a "bunch of reality shows."

Having already starred on local TV dating series Heartbreak Island in 2018, Jowsey—who has a British passport—was recruited by a casting team for a spot on either popular English show Love Island or a brand new Netflix series.

He was encouraged by the casting team to appear on the latter because he'd have "a lot more fun" and decided to "just go with the flow and trust the universe" by choosing to be one of the first contestants on 2020's Too Hot To Handle.

After watching his appearance on the raunchy show, which sees a group of singles attempt to remain celibate to win $100,000, the reality star found himself reflecting on his own character and actions.

"It's really weird when you film it and forget about it. You can't talk about it because you sign an NDA and so you put it to the back of your mind. There's arguments and conversations you have with people and they kind of forget about—you have to sit there and watch their side of the story.

"Maybe it was painted in a way that wasn't pleasant towards you or did not agree with what you thought in your head. So there's a lot of self-reflection when you watch these shows, it was really eye-opening, at times I thought "I'm actually a bit of a d*ck head, stop doing that."

Naturally, trying to navigate an on-screen relationship in the real world was difficult. Jowsey said his toughest period mentally came after he ended his highly-publicized romance during the pandemic and was forced to deal not only with his own pain, but the endless opinions of strangers.

"It was really horrible and dark and sad....My mental health was really bad. I was lucky I had so many people around me that got me out of LA for a little bit, in a safe space where I couldn't do anything silly or hurt myself or do anything I regret. I had some amazing people around me and I got back to being myself."

Thanks to Netflix's extensive mental health resources, which means therapists were a phone call or a text away, Jowsey was able to deal with the trolling—insisting that dealing with so much negativity online has been one of the most beneficial things for him.

"Now I know how to deal with it and know how to and not really take those comments seriously. I can navigate who I want to engage with and the audience I want to build, instead of these people with no backbone and people who just want to believe everything they read, so it was really awesome and helped me become a better person and reflect a lot more.

"Reading all those hateful comments, you don't really have anything to do but reflect and think, 'Am I actually such a horrible person? Like am I really this terrible?' Turns out I'm not as bad as they said I was, so it was really good. I've had a lot of time to reflect and be the man I want to be."

And while Jowsey has been able to amass a majority of loyal and supportive fans, there have been times his status as a reality star has left strangers unconcerned about his boundaries—even describing occasions he's been groped and propositioned on the street.

Speaking of being sexualized as a reality television star, he said: "I think it's funny and it makes me feel good about myself, you know there are people who think I'm attractive. That's awesome, it makes me feel good about myself, and it makes me work harder a little bit in the gym.

"The only time it's ever been an issue is when I've been in public and people just start groping me or start saying things. Sometimes it gets very forceful and gets a bit scary and it's a little bit hard to say politely, 'F**k off can you not touch me'.

"I've had people be like 'I have 5,000 dollars cash if you want to come to my place right now'. I say, 'I'm not a hooker, but thank you for the offer'. They're like 'No, no, no. You're coming'. I'm like, 'I'm so fine'. People might say "You have to sleep with my girlfriend". It gets pretty wild."

Having briefly moved back to New Zealand after the show had aired, the newly minted reality star decided to move out to Los Angeles, where he's been spending time investing cash, content creating, podcasting, and taking acting classes.

Known on reality television for his larger-than-life personality and startlingly honest discourse about sex and relationships, Jowsey has created a brand out of being transparent about his sex life, while becoming an agony aunt of sorts for social media users.

His podcasts, Tap In w/ Harry Jowsey and Dating Harry Jowsey, sees the influencer interview friends and fellow reality stars share experiences and offer advice primarily about sex and relationships.

He believes that appearing on a sexualized television program and then pretending not to be open about the realities of young people and sex would be disingenuous, claiming he doesn't want to be another "shady" influencer.

"I think that being on a reality dating show kind of opens you up to that and I would hate not to be genuine and pretend to be some kind of Christian or wholesome and sweet, everyone has sex, people love sex and I'm comfortable talking about it.

"I was thinking about myself as a teenager and how I would want someone who I could learn from and listen to. The fact people are comfortable talking about what they like or don't like makes the whole experience for the listener a little bit better.

"I hate having secrets. There are so many influencers I've met who look so shady and like they're hiding something online. Then when you meet them they're 100 times worse than you ever imagined, they do the craziest stuff offline.

"So I'd rather be the person that doesn't have any secrets and can go to sleep happily at night than be the influencer who hooks up with everyone but pretends to be a virgin or says they don't drink and then goes out partying."

Last New Year's Eve Jowsey decided he no longer wanted alcohol to be part of his life and quit drinking for over 100 days. After attending a festival in April he became temporarily sober once again and won't drink again until his next birthday in May.

He explained: "I just thought 'I don't want to drink anymore', this is kind of boring. It wasn't a big thing for me to throw away, it was after Coachella my mom came to visit and I thought 'You know what? I don't want to drink until my next birthday'.

"I kind of made a pact with myself. I didn't have a problem, I wasn't aggressive or crazy when I'm drunk, I'm probably a way more fun version of myself when I'm drunk. I just realized I reward myself a lot whenever I'm out and about and drinking and getting crazy with my friends.

"I just want to dedicate the next 12 months to getting on top of things. There is a lot of social pressure.

After leaving the Netflix show Jowsey indulged in food and alcohol while neglecting exercise, admitting taking care of himself physically has had an overwhelming impact on his mental and physical health.

"The past few weekends I've been able to be put into rooms with very influential people and very successful people, that was something that wasn't really happening before. I would go out and get f***d up. Now, I'm being invited over to these people's houses to be able to have dinner with them and pick their brains.

"For me, maybe it's the universe helping move the needle along a little bit or maybe it's just the right time at the right place, but I stopped one thing so drastically and it's opened up a bunch of doors. It feels like I'm taking a step in the right direction."